Addiction doesn't always look like the stereotype.
August 9, 2025
I grew up in a town of fewer than a thousand people, with loving parents, sports, summers on the lake and a near-4.0 GPA. Nobody did this to me. Underneath, though, I never felt good enough, and I didn't know what to do with that feeling.
So I found things that made it quieter. Over two decades that meant alcohol, prescription opioids, street pills, tianeptine and 7-OH. I kept getting promoted the whole way through, and I used the promotions as proof that I couldn't have a real problem.
The substance changed every time. The lie never did.
The good kid who didn't feel good enough
Sneaking vodka from the kitchen cabinet. A drunk drive I don't remember, where nothing happened, and that taught me the worst possible lesson: I can get away with this.
The functional drunk
A scholarship, three jobs, and vodka under the back seat. Blackouts at night and promotions by day, all the way to corporate headquarters. A girlfriend who told me she couldn't even break up with me, because I was always too drunk to hear it.
The shoulder
A torn rotator cuff, surgery and real pain, and then prescriptions I kept asking for. My first withdrawal, which I hid by telling everyone it was the flu. When the prescriptions ended I crossed a line, and I started buying pills on the street.
"Gas station heroin"
I went looking for something "safer" and found tianeptine, legal and sold in gas stations and smoke shops. It took over everything. I was laid off in 2018 and found a new job within a month, so I used that as "proof" too. My credit score went from about 835 to under 560, and I put dog food on credit cards.
135 days clean
After the hardest withdrawal of my life, I got off everything. Two golden retrievers, therapy, church, Reddit accountability and a written plan held me up.
Two funerals
My dad died the Thursday after my 40th birthday, while I was driving to go trout fishing with him. My mom died one month later. I stopped going to therapy, and my sobriety didn't survive the grief.
Same lie, new name
A friend mentioned 7-OH, and I told myself I'd be the exception. Within months I was using every day. In May 2025 I lost my second six-figure job. Across three substances, my bank records alone show at least $96,300 spent.
Day one
I quit for good. Weeks of exhaustion followed, and it got a little better with every sober day. I went back to therapy and wrote the plan down again, and this time I worked it.
Still here, still sober
I started a new job on November 1, 2025, clean, and I've gone from 245 to under 180 pounds. Neither of those is the definition of recovery. What changed me was telling the truth, out loud, to people who could help, and that's why this channel exists.
